Game, Set, Match

Another year, another Trivia Night! This one was a sports theme - and luckily for us - our table chose tennis (along with a few other tables...)

This year we thought we might win it all again -- but we ended up quite in the middle, with two very large [tennis] balls. Ha! And one very big giant racquet - find it on the ground, in the back.

But despite the loss of our winner's crown, it was still a fun night with some of our neighborhood friends, raising money for our neighborhood school.

Can't wait until next year.

Hair today - gone tomorrow

My paternal grandmother was a hair dresser...when I knew her she had a little salon in her basement and a regular clientele of ladies of a certain age.

The apple didn't fall too far from the tree -- I loved doing hair as a child, spending hours on my doll's head.

Claudia, however, isn't a fan of getting her hair done.

But today - it was almost a gift she gave me - and she accepted ONE braid after swimming ... I'm happy! And she actually was too...and asked for another one tomorrow!

The Post I've Been Wanting to Write for Months

I am the worst at funerals.

When my close college friend J's mom died from cancer when we were in our 20s, I sobbed so hard when I saw her standing in the receiving line, that she had to comfort me!

I remember afterwards not knowing what to do to support her. I sent a donation to a charity I thought her mother would have liked but that was about it. I didn't do all I could.

This was a similar story for me around babies. Friends were having babies around me in my late 20s and early 30s...I would send gifts, probably not from the registry because I wanted to be original, and I would show up a few weeks later bringing a bottle of wine to celebrate the little whipper snapper -- expecting to have my old friend back.

I didn't understand the transformation that she had undergone....until I had my own baby on Dec. 27, 2007. 

To all my friends who had babies before me - here's my blanket apology for just not knowing how hard a newborn is - and how amazingly AWESOME you are for having one. You are a rock star. Just sayin' 

To give all of us slackers a little break,  really, how can you know how BIG something is until you do it yourself? And even then - yes, every person is different and experiences things differently.

The same I find goes with losing your mother.

So, I wanted to write a basic tips post for anyone trying to comfort a friend with some real ideas on what you can do to help her out. Because we are all in this together.

Assuming your friend had a talking relationship with her mother ... and even if she didn't...here are some ideas on things you can do. 

1) Text and Call. (Go beyond the FB mention if you have talked in the last 10 years)  Do both. She may not want to listen to a VM but seeing a text will make her feel loved. (I know this seems obvious but often people feel like they don't want to intrude leading people to feel alone.) 

2) If you live in the same town, bring dinner/lunch/breakfast. Drop off a bag of groceries. She will appreciate it. 

3) If you are in the same town, take the kids to a movie, playground, petting zoo - whatever - to give her some space to grieve. 

4) If you live far away, send a card. She will treasure it. 

5) Flowers are nice, too. 

6) Anniversaries are hard...consider Mother's Day and Christmas/Winter Season as the hardest. And her birthday. Reach out. Let your friend know you are thinking about her. 

7) If you want to do more, and wonder what gift you could give your friend, the best gift I received this Christmas was an angel ornament - along with a box of chocolates and ground coffee. 

What tips would you offer?